That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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