i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
