OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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