Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
