Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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