can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
