The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
