Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Randomize
