The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
