I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Randomize
