'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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