omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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