5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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