I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize