Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize