she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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