I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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