get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Sober January is a disaster.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
