you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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