is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Bang-toberfest begins!!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
