He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
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he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
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Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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