that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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