it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Please don't give away my fajitas
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
