sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
