That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
