He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Randomize
