Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
