office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I have peed in a lot of sinks
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize