Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize