i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Watching her eat just hurts me
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
