Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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