It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
