I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
