I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
