He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize