i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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