Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
its not stalking. its research.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
