Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
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