My friends, they love my intelligence
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
