Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
