i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
