god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
