Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
