i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
