Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
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