My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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