false alarm. still invincible.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
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Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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