i just had sex bonerless
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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