i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
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I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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