I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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