Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
