I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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