Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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