I could make wine with my vomit
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
