my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
