Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
