i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Randomize
