dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
