remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
