That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
