no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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